The Quiet Doubts of Ambitious Moms—and What to Do About Them

Molly [00:00:00]:
I think as busy, ambitious moms, we go, I should be able to handle all this. I should be able to handle all this. And then when we feel flustered or depleted inside or exhausted, we don’t actually know what we need. And then resentment can build up, and sometimes we do take it out on our partner or we just continue taking it out on ourselves.

Molly Asplin [00:00:26]:
Hey. I’m Molly. I’m so glad you’re here. Welcome to the Dream It Do It podcast. I’m a wife, mom of three, a certified high performance coach, and the founder of Dream It Do It wellness. After leaving my corporate finance job, I discovered the joy of building a life and business that truly light me up. And now I help others like you do the same. Together, we’ll use intentional habits, smart time management and productivity, and meaningful work to help you excel at your career and experience the life you desire.

Molly Asplin [00:01:01]:
Let’s dream big, take action, and create a life you love. Let’s dive into the show.

Molly [00:01:11]:
Welcome back to the Dream It Do It podcast. I am very excited for this solo episode on what I think is just a very relevant topic that we need to be talking more about. I will get into that in a moment, but first I want to give a special announcement specifically for Dream It Do It podcast listeners. So the moment, A Moment for the Working Mom retreat is coming up soon on Saturday, May 3. And we have got a special discount. This is only for podcast listeners for anyone who is thinking of attending. Now, it is just a one day, a full day event. I think that makes it so doable for a busy mom to attend, to take that day to really come and pour into you.

Molly [00:02:00]:
You will leave that day feeling so refreshed, so clear, and so motivated with belief that reignites who you are again. Because I don’t know about you, but I think it can be really easy for like that person deep inside you to sort of just get covered up in all the other roles that you wear. And yep, they’re important, but like take a moment to sort of rediscover who you are and become a better version of that person deep inside you too. So you will leave with practical, effective tools to help home run better and to help work run better. Whether you’re a corporate leader, corporate job, sales leader, whether you have your own business, this is absolutely going to help you become more effective and consistent every day. You will also leave with a support group of like minded, motivated, inspiring women who really get it. Right? And I say that with respect, but you know what I mean. These are women who are really gonna get you.

Molly [00:03:10]:
They’re walking the same walk. They will help elevate you. Like, the best part about live events and experiences like this, in my opinion, are the people. You literally walk away with so many new connections, friends, people you can lean on who are in a similar season with similar outlooks for growth, growth oriented moms. So what we’re doing is Dream It Do It podcast listeners are getting a special $50 off promo code. So the promo is podcast, and if you go to mollyaspline.com/retreat and just type in podcast in the promo code field, it will literally discount it $50. So I wanna make sure you know that once tickets are gone, they’re gone. We only have capacity of 20 in the room.

Molly [00:04:04]:
So this is a small connected immersive event. It’s not some, you know, big thing where you’re just gonna like sit in a stadium and not talk to anyone. Right? It is a very good place to connect with other motivated and and inspiring women. So discount code is podcast. Do it sooner rather than later before the spots fill, and I would love to have you there on May 3. So we’re diving into what I think is an important topic because I think these questions and these thoughts can be things that women are afraid to say out loud. I think these thoughts can feel embarrassing. They can feel like maybe you lack confidence even though you’re a confident and and ambitious woman.

Molly [00:04:50]:
But what I want you to know is you don’t have to choose between being a great mom and pursuing the career or the business or the life goals that you really want. So what we’re gonna do in this episode is unpack the quiet doubts that many ambitious moms carry. And you will hear some of my vulnerabilities in this episode. I deal with this too. And you know what? I think absolutely every ambitious mom does. We’ll also go through mindset shifts and actually daily habits that really help with this. So it’s gonna be a very honest conversation to help you move forward and feel feel validated and move forward without burning out. So this is your reminder, ambitious mom, before we get into this, that you’re not behind, you’re not failing, and you are more capable than you think.

Molly [00:05:51]:
So the line I hear people say or maybe people think, but I I work with people on this, and so they have the courage to say it to me, is I’m a mom with a busy life. Am I really capable of pursuing my career? I’m a mom with a busy life. Am I really capable of growing my career? Or can I really have this big career or this business and be a great mom when my husband is working too? My partner’s working too. And so I noticed this comes up a lot in, like, the dual income situation where both partners are working, and it’s like and we also have these children and this house and all these responsibilities that come with that, and both partners are working jobs that they probably care about a lot. Right? Like, two high performing like, a high performing couple, and you’re trying to, like, keep the balls in the air with the kids’ activities and the meals and the house and the cleaning and, like, the the day to day requirements of life. And I just want you to know that, first of all, if you have doubt with this and you question yourself at times, you’re not alone. It’s so normal, and it’s so real. I think when we feel alone is when we don’t talk about it or when we just shove it down.

Molly [00:07:18]:
Right? And we’re like, I feel this way, but I’m not I’m not gonna let myself think that. And it’s like, let’s just take a moment to talk through it. Other thoughts you may have, like, other imposter syndrome kind of thoughts. Who am I to do this? Other moms seem to have it more together. How can I really be a great mother and lead at work? I’m failing myself. If I grow in my career, I’m failing my family. It is crazy. Right? The thoughts that sort of come up and can get stewed in us.

Molly [00:07:53]:
If I slow down or ask for help, I’m weak. I should be able to handle this. That’s mine. Like that that’s Molly’s great thought that comes up. I should be able to handle this. I’m too busy to focus on me. That’s another one. Alright? So having big goals with or having a career having a career that you want to drive with or continue to excel with or continue to be fulfilled with, that it doesn’t make you a bad mom.

Molly [00:08:27]:
Right? Like and I think for probably most listening, it makes you a better mom. Right? Because that’s part of you. And I know for me, like, my work is part of who I am. And if if I don’t have that, I I sort of feel like I lose part of myself. And then I don’t feel fulfilled, and I don’t feel energetic for my kiddos. And so maybe you can relate to that. But having big goals alongside with work or even alongside with home, it doesn’t make you an imposter. It and wanting to work on these things, it makes you real.

Molly [00:08:58]:
It makes you more intentional. It makes you human. Alright? Other things I’ve heard from clients and followers, things like that is, I wanna strike a balance in corporate life and being a busy mom. I wanna identify what my next career move is so that I will feel more fulfilled. I wanna continue to grow my business while sustaining high energy and focus without burnout. So people really like, we really wanna do both. Right? That’s that’s the crowd that I’m talking to. That’s me.

Molly [00:09:32]:
Right? I wanna do both really well, and I believe that we can. So another thing you might be feeling before I kinda dive into the forward motion here is you’ve lost yourself. And maybe you don’t even really know who you are anymore. Right? You’ve gone through maybe childbearing years or career has really grown or life has really happened, and your responsibilities went up exponentially. And in that, you kind of got lost in the shuffle, and you don’t really know who you are anymore. Right? And I think unless you’re intentional about that and take time to think about it and process it, which we’ll talk about today, I think you can really get lost in the shuffle. And it and it’s weird because things will look great on the outside, and they’ll be fine on the outside, but inside you’re like, I don’t even know, like, what happened? Like, where did she go? Where did that, like, ambitious, zest for life, goal driven, excited woman, where did she go? Now she’s just, like, exhausted by 2PM and trying to get through the day. I hear these things.

Molly [00:10:42]:
Or I’m Molly, I know I wanna have more fun in life and, like like, do more things to, like, fill my cup, but I don’t even really know what that is. Or I’ve just got this nagging feeling of what do I really want? And so it it can be a hard place to be in because you want to strive and grow and maybe look for another career or grow in the one you have, but you’ll kind of, like, stop yourself. Because you’re like, oh, the kids snacks and the kids and this, you know, you’ll kinda mask it and all these other things because no doubt it’s busy. So we need some validating stats here because I thought the societal context of all this was very fascinating and assuring. 70% of US families with kids under the age of 18 are dual income households, meaning both partners are working and bringing home the bacon, so to speak. Right? 70%. So most most people have both partners working. So we just gotta put that out there.

Molly [00:11:51]:
Most of us are trying to navigate this. Right? 80% of working moms say they manage most household responsibilities. 80% of working moms say they kind of, like, run the show at home. And we learned that as well from doctor Morgan on last week’s episode. Make sure you go listen to that. Oh, my goodness. You know, she really breaks down the research behind that. Like, typically, the the female the woman is doing more in the home even whether or not if they’re a stay at home or if they’re working outside the home or working in the home, they are doing a heavier lift there than the husband.

Molly [00:12:33]:
Two and three working moms report feeling burned out, and moms average one to two hours less of personal time each day compared to dads. So the stats are there, and they’re not really in the favor of a working mom. We’ve got a lot on our plate. And so we need to figure out how to move forward with that. Right? And hold ourself to expectations that are motivating but realistic. And so what has really helped me I’ll tell you the story. It’s kind of vulnerable, but you can hear it. Is a few weeks ago, I actually sent Steve a text message, And it said I was having a real hard time.

Molly [00:13:18]:
Like, I am kinda default parent in this season, and I am default parent in this season, and kids have been off school. And it had sort of been like he had been on a long work trip, and it had been like one thing after the next. And I was like, you know what? I’ve got career goals too, and this is really bothering me. And I can’t gain momentum. And, you know, this was back in that back three weeks ago. I’ve I’ve moved past it. And so it’s just but you go through these seasons. Right? Or the whether they’re short term or long term, you go through them.

Molly [00:13:50]:
And I sent him a text message that said, you know, maybe it’s just not my season to crush it at work. And he, like, very quickly replied, like, that’s not who you are. Like, stop. And as I wrote it, I knew it’s not who I was either. And so what happened there is I was just maxed at capacity for that season of time. And so what helps me to know is that there are just seasons. There’s seasons where it’s gonna be hard. There’s seasons where it just really bites.

Molly [00:14:23]:
There’s seasons where you can really crush it. There’s days where you crush it, and then the next day, you’re 90% mothering. Right? And I just think after being a mom for six years and three kids, that’s just kinda how it goes. And I think that’s how it’s going to continue to go, and that’s why moms are just, like, the best at being flexible. But I don’t think we can let that stop our ambition, especially if your ambition, like mine, is part of who you are. So what what I’ve learned is you can do both and you can do both well, but not by trying to do it like someone else. This really has to be an individual thing, and you really have to define your own definition of success for each season. You have to define your definition of success on the mom front and on the career front for each season.

Molly [00:15:27]:
Another way to say this is you’ve got to chart your own course. And I think when we start looking outside of ourselves, I e at other people’s Instagram or how how other people are doing it, or how much does she work, or how much does she I think when we start to, like, kinda play this comparison game with it, that’s when we can feel mediocre. And we just have to know that literally everyone’s household, everyone’s roles in the house, everyone’s job demands are so different. Everyone’s ages of kids, everyone’s needs of their kids, it’s just all so different. So there are seasons, it will ebb and flow, but you can’t lose yourself in the seasons. You might lose yourself for a day or even for a week. She like that ambitious woman inside you, she might come and go, but it’s up to you to get her back and continuing to bring you to bring her with you to that place that you know she’s meant to be. And so when I was feeling down and out and in a rut, it was like, now this isn’t who I am.

Molly [00:16:40]:
I’m gonna pull this out. I’m gonna coach myself through this, and we’re gonna get to a better place. But this is just a hard day or this is just a hard season. It happens. Another strategy is how would your future self coach you on this? So if, you know, if you take your version of you five years out and she looks back and she’s coaching you today, what is she telling you to do? How is she telling you to show up? She’s probably not saying just throw it in the towel, give it up, just Yeah. You can’t do it in this season. Right? She’s like, hey, hon, friend, give yourself some grace. You’re gonna get through this.

Molly [00:17:20]:
Give yourself some grace. Keep going. Keep working on yourself. Surround yourself with a great circle of people. Surround yourself with women who get it and who women are who are walking the same walk that you want to, you’re gonna be okay. Right? Like, you can do this. Keep striving. Keep going.

Molly [00:17:39]:
It won’t be perfect. You’ve got this. She’d probably tell you something like that. Right?

Molly Asplin [00:17:47]:
If you are looking for some free coaching on how to apply these things in your own life and reset your own daily rhythms, like set yourself up with better high performance habits or maybe giving yourself permission to change, permission to grow, just go DM me the word fulfillment on Instagram and I will send you my road map that really helps you design a life that lets you live again. Because what’s the point of success if you are pulling your hair out and feeling super frazzled all the time? So again, just DM me the word fulfillment on Instagram. I’ll teach you how to reset your daily rhythms exactly what I do on a daily basis, and give yourself permission to change, permission to grow, permission to do it better. DM me the word fulfillment on Instagram, and I’ll send you the free road map right to you.

Molly [00:18:41]:
I would also ask, are your expectations realistic? Okay. So I need to gut check myself on that a lot. It’s like, okay. Probably can’t do all of these things this week and be the mom I wanna be to my three kids and take care of my body at right? Like, and take care of myself. Like, I think we need to know when our expectations are just unmatched to the the realistic expectation. And listen, I’m not saying don’t stretch yourself. I think you’ve gotta stretch yourself as an ambitious woman, but it’s stretching yourself without overwhelming yourself. Does that make sense? And sure, there’s gonna be days where you are very stretched and very overwhelmed.

Molly [00:19:28]:
Again, it ebbs and flows, but for the most part, are you setting expectations that aren’t so crazy that you’re just always feeling like you’re failing? Because that doesn’t do any of us good. And I think that is when we self sabotage and go into imposter syndrome and that kind of thing. Anchors tactical anchors that help you do both well. These things are like my tried and true, and it I’ve kinda noticed that when I get away from these things, whether I’m sick or there’s a lot of travel or something like that, it’s when I will kind of go into victim mindset or imposter syndrome, and I noticed that from my clients too. It’s like, hey, how is the routine? Like, let’s check-in on the basics here before we, like, go down that rabbit hole or before we lose our belief in where we’re going, or before we think I just can’t do it all. Right? Like, let’s let’s check-in with the basics and make sure we’re taking care of ourselves. So these aren’t flashy. They’re foundational, but these are the small rhythms that help me stay centered and grounded and capable and excited to do both well.

Molly [00:20:37]:
To be a good mother, present mom, and to crush it in business, because I freaking love to do that too, is a morning and evening routine that I anchor into. So you can go back. I’ve got a morning and evening routine. It’s, I don’t know, not that many episodes ago. I think I think I recorded one around October time frame, and we’ll try to put that in the show notes. But, you know, in the morning, it’s giving myself quiet time in solitude to journal for ten minutes to process my thoughts, to get a good energizing workout in, to sweat, right, to have that stress release before I go into the day, to plan out my top three priorities. All of that takes me like an hour, but goodness, it it’s a huge anchor for my day. Evening, it’s just having thirty minutes in the night time in the evening to wind down without screens, screen free.

Molly [00:21:32]:
I love to take a hot shower, hop into bed, read my Kindle, and just get good restorative sleep. And you can also go back to the high performance energy episode. We’ll put that one in the show notes to show notes too, but, oh, it’s like, that’s everything. That keeps me going. So quick daily workouts to shift your state makes a big difference. Fueling your body to support your mood and energy. But, you know, before you eating things, asking yourself, how is this going to make me feel? Is this gonna make me feel more energized or less energized? Because all like all of these, like, little things, they do add up to ambition and to belief in yourself. And like I said, journaling to process and reflect and recenter.

Molly [00:22:18]:
Do you know journaling is like a pressure relief valve? It it’s not just some fluffy thing that’s like, oh, yeah. Sit with your journal and just, you know, let your mind calm. Yes. But, like, studies have shown the high perform highest performers are journaling. It allows them to create mental clarity and to create more productivity and to to hear themselves think. It lets out the mental noise. Whereas if you never take time to process, and I definitely prefer pen to paper with journaling, then it all kind of just bottles up in you. And the days kind of turn into weeks, and you’re like, things are just crazy all around me.

Molly [00:22:58]:
But if you let out that mental noise and you can start to name how you’re feeling, it makes such a difference. So take that ten minutes in the more five five minutes in the morning or five minutes in the evening and journal it out. I like to write out in the morning, today, I am grateful for, and I’ll write out, like, five things. And it might be like, oh, something really funny, Claire, my middle child said yesterday because she’s just a hoot. Or it might be, you know, how Steve took care of the tax meeting or how I had a really great call with a client that was really energizing. But I’ll try to write, like, specific things that happened to the the day before or how excited I am, like, for spending time outside this this coming weekend or something that I’m excited about. Right? But, like, studies are studies show that practice of appreciation, it absolutely increases your state. So, again, these aren’t just, like, cute things.

Molly [00:23:58]:
I think I think high performers like, oh, cute. That’s cute. I don’t have time for that. It’s like, no. It’s gonna make you your performance better. So that’s why I’m telling you to do it. So listen, if all of these, like, overwhelm you, just pick one. Pick one to start with, and, like, that act of belief in yourself makes a big difference.

Molly [00:24:20]:
Right? And you don’t need to get overwhelmed with it, but let’s pick one or two and start working on, like, those anchors so that you’ll that ambition will shine even more. And that self belief of I can do both. I’ve got this. I’ve trained for this. I set myself up for this this morning. It just really makes a difference. Okay. Letting go of perfection and expanding your timeline.

Molly [00:24:46]:
I have come a long way on this, and if you’re a seasoned mother, I think that you probably have too, or you’re continuing to get better at it. Right? I don’t think our kids or our partners need perfect at all. They don’t need us to be perfect. For some reason, we love to put that that pressure on ourselves as high performers, but they want you to feel happy. They want you to be fulfilled. No one’s looking for you to be perfect. This is this is like your own unrealistic standards of yourself. Right? And so just accepting that there will be weeks or seasons that you don’t get it all done or that you’re not 100%.

Molly [00:25:31]:
I think it’s okay to say that where you don’t feel a hundred percent in all the areas because I just don’t think that’s realistic. And that’s not failing. It’s just normal. It’s like, it’s not saying you don’t care. It’s not that you’re not doing a quality job. It’s that you’ve gotta know what’s most important in each season or in each day. And, actually, I think in a lot of cases, it’s just doing less and doing less with more meaning and letting go of, I don’t know, so much of the nitty gritty and just saying, you know, that’s not so important in this season. This is.

Molly [00:26:10]:
And I’m gonna do really quality with that. And, you know, some of the things with like motherhood and, you know, Pinterest worthy kind of things, I think you just gotta let that go. I’ll never forget like meals and birthday parties and it’s like focus on what matters most to you. Right? I am like not the birthday party queen, not my thing. I’m just fine with a simple little dinosaur theme or something. I don’t need like the white bouncy house or whatever. And I I love moms who have that. Right? No judgment, but it’s like know what’s important to you and what’s not.

Molly [00:26:46]:
Another great example is I remember when my sister was going from one to two kids and she was talking to like a more experienced mom about like any tips from like for going from one kid to two kids. And the mom said, just be okay with frozen pizza nights every once in a while. Like, have frozen pizza in your freezer and just be okay with it. I remember my sister telling me that, like, just be okay with frozen pizza nights every now and then. And listen, we do pizza Fridays every night in our house. Kids love it. Steve and I love it. And you know what? It’s usually frozen pizza.

Molly [00:27:21]:
It’s not like gourmet, homemade, Pinterest worthy stuff. It’s like, we’re tired. We’ve ate pretty well all week, and I’ve cooked all week. This is gonna be okay. And so you know you best. Right? You know your version of success and what that means to you, and I just don’t want you to hold yourself to perfection. Okay. Expanding the timelines.

Molly [00:27:47]:
Letting go of made up timelines that are just plain stressing you out. One of my girlfriends, recently, she she gave this great example, and I’m like, that’s it. And she gets it. She’s like, you know, I really wanted to qualify for Boston marathon by the time I was 40. And she’s, like, battling an injury, and 40 came and went. And she’s not gonna be able to qualify for Boston by the time she’s like, you know what? Maybe when I’m, like, 42. I don’t know. She’s like, it doesn’t matter.

Molly [00:28:16]:
I’ll do it. It’s just I don’t know exactly when it’s gonna happen, but the goal is still the goal. And I just thought that is so true. And maybe it’s, you know, a Disney vacation with your family, and you’re putting so much pressure on yourself to do it next year, do it next year, but maybe that’s just not realistic for you or that’s like that feels more like perfection. And it’s like, you know what? I actually think that’s gonna be the year after that. Whatever it might be, but it’s like stop putting so much rigidity. Is that a word? Like, stop being so rigid around timelines that don’t even need to be timelines. Because if you’re just enjoying the process, and trust me, I remind myself of this all the time, but if you can just enjoy the process and truly enjoy the ride, does it really matter if something happens this month versus next month, or this year versus next year? I’m not saying don’t have goals.

Molly [00:29:13]:
I’m not saying don’t give yourself a push, but you’re already doing that. Right? And so I think sometimes you need a reminder to, you know what? This is actually gonna be a next month thing. This is actually gonna be delayed to the summer. And I’m not throwing it out the window. I’m just moving it to the parking lot because that’s good for my mind as a high performing mom. Do less of the the busy admin, things that aren’t so important to you, and do more of the quality things that actually matter right now. Some more examples, weekend traveling, that was big for Steve and I. Like, going into this year, we said, you know what? We’re not gonna travel so much on the weekends.

Molly [00:29:59]:
It’s incredibly stressful for our family with six, four, and two. There’s just a lot to it. It’s hard to get out of here, like, on Fridays, and then we go somewhere and we don’t sleep well because young kids. And so we’re like, you know what? We’re not gonna do much weekend travel unless it’s summertime, it’ll be different, and we’ll kinda buckle up and do that. But we’re not gonna stress ourself out over that. And so, again, it’s like doing less so that we can get restorative sleep on the weekends and we can get our ducks in a row and feel good and feel recharged and rejuvenated doing less so that we can do more. Right? People have been asking me, Molly, are you gonna, like, lead a big event? Would you like to, like, lead a big, like, personal development event? And I’m like, no. I wouldn’t.

Molly [00:30:44]:
I mean, maybe in the future, but I’m like, no. To me, that would be something that, again, would just drive up my stress in this season, and that just doesn’t really feel aligned. And so and I’m super confident in that. I’m wanting to do my quality 20 person intimate retreat. Right? Like, moment for working mom retreat. But you’ve just gotta get really clear on, like, what’s a hell yes and what’s a no. Not right now. Accepting meetings that you don’t actually need to attend.

Molly [00:31:15]:
Can you just say, hey, we don’t actually need this meeting, and boom, you have a hour back into your day. But giving yourself more time and more margin and expanding the timelines as I’m ex as I’m saying will eliminate a lot of your stress or lessen it, right, as a busy working mom. It just will. Okay. Having honest spouse conversations and really letting them know where you’re at. This goes back to doctor Morgan episode, right, about the mental load. We talked a lot about communicating effectively. Pick up the book.

Molly [00:31:51]:
Right? You gotta pick up the book. I’m, I don’t know, like halfway through and it’s so effective on how to work more as a team with our spouse and talk about it in ways that really make sense. But have the real conversations about how you’re feeling. Right? Just like how I sent Steve the text, and then we definitely talked it more through on, like, hey. You know, here’s how I’m feeling right now. I’m feeling really defeated. Can I really do this in this season? And we talked it out, and we talked about the workload, and we talked about the the lift, and talked about how I’m gonna recharge so I don’t deplete myself so much. Right? It’s all a process.

Molly [00:32:30]:
But I find that a lot of couples aren’t talking about the big stuff. They’re just talking about logistics. They’re like, yeah. You know, we have, like, a weekly meeting where we just, you know, hammer it all out and go through things. And I’m like, k. That’s good. I I think we should all do that. That’s a doctor Morgan tip is to kinda have, like, these weekly check-in meetings.

Molly [00:32:51]:
And have you gotten vulnerable with your spouse about, like, maybe how you’re really feeling? Because she also talks about this so eloquently that our relationship talks, and our needs, and everything, it’s you gotta maintain that. Just like you maintain your workouts or just like you maintain your car and you put gas in your car, we have to maintain relationship. And so if you’re just, like, never really putting focus there, or, you know, you’re just going through, like, simple logistic things, which aren’t simple, but you know what I mean, like, kind of surface level, I feel like it can build resentment fast for the busy, ambitious mom. I say this because I’ve experienced it at times. Right? Whereas, if you allow yourself time to to process and talk it out with your best friend, I think it makes a a massive difference. So last week when or whenever this was, last month, I don’t I don’t know. It was a few weeks ago now when Steve and I were really diving into this ourselves and when I said, you know, can I really do this? Right? That imposter syndrome comes at times. I wrote out in my journal on one side, how do I want to feel? Here it is if you’re watching the video.

Molly [00:34:10]:
How do I want to feel or how do I feel on one side, and what do I need on the other side? It’s a t chart. How do I feel and what do I need? And here’s an example. How do I feel? I feel more tired than I’ve been in a long time with, house chores, meals, groceries, kids energy. Girls need more emotionally right now. They’re fighting constant, like, conversations and talking. It’s just like it’s it’s a lot. It feels like a heavy lift. Will, our son, is busy.

Molly [00:34:38]:
He’s two. Naps are questionable. And so I was I was writing, like, I just feel a lot more tired than I’ve been with the kids in a long time. Like, it’s a it’s a big lift right now. And what do I need? And I was, you know, specifically talking to Steve. I said, I just need acknowledgement and appreciation to know that I’m seen and appreciated and doing all these things. Happy to do these things. I just need to be appreciated for them.

Molly [00:35:06]:
Right? And I don’t know what it is for you, but I think as busy, ambitious moms, we go, I should be able to handle all this. I should be able to handle all this. And then when we feel flustered or depleted inside or exhausted, we don’t actually know what we need. Right? And then resentment can build up, and sometimes we do take it out on our partner or we just continue taking it out on ourselves, and it’s like, stop honest conversation with your partner, and let’s get to a better place. Right? And so we just got lockstep on things, and I can’t tell you how good it felt. Okay? I think that staying around other like minded, inspiring, goal oriented women is everything. Staying around or getting around if you don’t have that in your life right now. The retreat would be a perfect place for you to do this.

Molly [00:36:00]:
I think we need that more than ever because especially when you’re in the busy mom, busy work season, there’s not a lot of margin in your life likely for friendship. Right? And I hopefully, you have, like, girlfriend text exchanges or dinners or whatever you do weekends away once a year or something. But I also think you need to take it a step further, and you need to get yourself in the room of women who are really trying to move themselves forward with what exactly you’re listening to right now. And so, again, make sure you go to MollyAspen.com/retreat, drop in podcast for the $50 discount, but get yourself in the room. Right? And don’t kick the can down the road with that stuff. I find that busy moms will do that, but, like, oh, well, you know, we have soccer that day, or I’ve got something going on. Well, no. You’re always gonna have something going on.

Molly [00:36:58]:
Right? You are a busy working mom. So, like, the stuff going on does not stop. It’s up to you to stop, carve out the day for yourself, right, and get help with kiddos and go take that time to just be poured into. You will come out literally a a fresher, vibrant, more energetic different person with better habits, better consistency, a better mindset around it all, and a community of women who are growth oriented and wanting to do the same things. It just makes a big difference. Listen, if you’ve quietly been asking yourself, can I really do this? Can I really go after my own goals, career goals, business goals, and be the mom I wanna be when my husband’s career is full too? I just want you to know you’re not alone in that question. It is a very real thing. And while I don’t ever think it’s going to be perfect, I think you can absolutely do both.

Molly [00:38:07]:
And I think you can do both well, as long as you say, stay mindful and cognizant on what’s most important to you. What you’ve got to remember is it’s not the way someone else is doing it. It’s not the way the world tells you it should look or Instagram reels tell you it should look or how your neighbor does it or how your best friend does it, it’s gonna look a little bit different for all of us. But sometimes having both doesn’t mean everything. It means focusing on the parts that you care about most, that you’re doing it intentionally and with a full heart and mindfully, and you’re not just letting the days pass you by. Right? And I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted. It’s like stop and let yourself process and let yourself anchor into those practices that I shared really do make it a lot easier.

Molly [00:39:05]:
They don’t make it perfect, and they don’t make it easy. It’s still hard, but they make it a whole lot more palatable and doable so that you can go through your days in your life with energy for work and for kids. So give yourself permission to just be in process. And it sounds so cliche, but enjoy the ride. Help yourself dream bit by bit. Right? And be in, like, constant experimentation with getting a little bit better at it each day. I kinda look at it as myself as, like, this big challenge. Like, you know, can I do this with the best energy and the best alignment as possible and, like, stay true to who I am and keep stepping in the right direction? I think it’s fun to look at it as a challenge.

Molly [00:39:56]:
I know that my kids don’t need me to be perfect. They know that mom is gonna mess up sometimes, but they do need a grounded, lit up, energetic version of me that’s fulfilled with what I’m doing. And so that’s what I care about most of all because I think the beautiful thing about when an ambitious mom pursues her goals and goes after some of her own dreams and takes care of herself, you’re not just achieving, you’re role modeling the way. Because the last thing that I want my kids to see is that mom’s depleted, mom’s cranky, mom’s flustered, mom doesn’t like work, Mom doesn’t like what she does. She’s complaining. Right? Like, what’s the freaking point? I I wanna go through this life with good energy on as many fronts as I can, understanding that, sure, there’s gonna be some hard days. Ask for more help if you need to. Have a conversation with your spouse about what you really need right now.

Molly [00:40:55]:
Not just logistics talks, but, like, the deep conversations. And remember, if you’re craving a space to get more clarity and excitement and consistency and tangible tools to put into your life to make this all a little bit easier, make sure you join us at the retreat. Until next time, I want you to go and live intentionally. Keep doing this, like, courageous work. This is courageous work as an ambitious mom to come out and talk about these things and say these things, and and really become the woman that you wanna be. I’m right here with you. Hey, I hope this is helpful for you. Make sure you share it with another ambitious mom, a girlfriend, a colleague, and I want you to remember, you can do both well.

Molly [00:41:42]:
You have got this. We’ll talk to you next week. Take care.

Molly Asplin [00:41:49]:
Could I ask a quick favor? It would mean so much to me if you took two minutes, literally two minutes, to rate and review this podcast. Ratings and reviews are how the podcast grows, and it’s listeners like you who are here every week listening and benefiting who can really help me grow this show, it would mean a ton to me. And as a token of my appreciation for any written review that you share, I will send you a $5 Starbucks gift card. Why? Because we all need more Starbucks in our life. A little coffee for you to enjoy on me. So all you have to do is review the podcast. So just go down and click review rate or review the podcast. Write a written review, screenshot it, and before you click submit, just screenshot it, email it to me, mo***@********in.com.

Molly Asplin [00:42:41]:
And from there, I will send over your $5 Starbucks gift card, and your next coffee or latte or mocha will be on me. Thank you so much. I appreciate it more than you know. Talk soon.