Lost Your Spark? How to Make Work & Life Feel Good Again

Molly [00:00:00]:
Without purpose, tasks feel like chores instead of meaningful contributions. You start to feel that factor or that ick factor. I’ve heard people say that a lot. You start to grow go through the motions instead of seeking the growth. Hey. I’m Molly. I’m so glad you’re here. Welcome to the Dream It Do It podcast.

Molly [00:00:27]:
I’m a wife, mom of three, a certified high performance coach, and the founder of Dream It Do It Wellness. After leaving my corporate finance job, I discovered the joy of building a life and business that truly light me up. And now I help others like you do the same. Together, we’ll use intentional habits, smart time management and productivity, and meaningful work to help you excel at your career and experience the life you desire. Let’s dream big, take action, and create a life you love. Let’s dive into the show. Welcome back to the Dream It Do It podcast. Today, we are talking about a really important topic in terms of high performance, in terms of life fulfillment, career fulfillment, motherhood fulfillment, and that topic is purpose.

Molly [00:01:22]:
Now if you’re like me, you probably feel like the word purpose has been overused, like this big exaggeration on find your purpose, find your passion. And I’m a big believer that I think that kinda language around it creates just a lot of pressure. Like, I have to find this one purpose to live out for the rest of my life. I don’t think that’s true. I think your purpose very much evolves. But I will say this, if your purpose isn’t there or it’s very low, I think it’s a big driver of low engagement, disengagement, that feeling of I’m an I’m just really unfulfilled in my career. I think a lot of times that has to do with, do you feel purpose behind it? So I’m gonna talk through that today, and I’m also gonna talk through how to increase your level of purpose. Specific strategies, not just fluffy stuff, that you can do to increase your purpose.

Molly [00:02:23]:
Because what I know to be true is that when I feel purpose and alignment and a deeper meaning with the work that I’m doing and how I’m showing up for my family and kiddos, life feels a lot better. Like, it feels joyful. I feel excited. And I I think purpose is a huge driver for for all of us. So we’re gonna go through that today. It’s it’s if it’s lacking in your life, you know it. Right? And it you also know that it’s a big issue. Like, you can only go on like that for so long before it really starts to eat at you, and I have totally been there.

Molly [00:03:00]:
The definition of person of purpose is the deeply rooted reason why you do what you do. It’s the guiding force that gives action your actions meaning and direction beyond just achieving goals or checking off tasks. The numbers back this up. Employees who find purpose in their work are actually four times more engaged than those who don’t. And here’s a very interesting stat that explains why so many people feel stuck. 85% of executives, top executives, say they live their purpose at work, but only 15% of frontline employees or, like, upper management feel the same. So that that is a very big gap. 85% of the top, but only 15% of, like, middle management or frontline employees feel the same.

Molly [00:03:54]:
And so there is there’s definitely an issue here, and maybe you’re in some of that stuck crowd. I think in different seasons of our lives, we all find ourselves feeling stuck. Another reason why this is so important is it drives your long term career fulfillment. So if you are only chasing money, a title, external awards rewards, you may get those things, right, especially if you’re a high achiever listening to this, which I’m gonna assume that you are. But once you’re there, you may feel really empty, Or you may get that big promotion, or you might grow that following on Instagram, or whatever it might be, or hit that income level that you had been working to hit. But then you do it, and you’re like, oh, that didn’t really feel how I thought it was gonna feel, or is this really it? And, like, the unfulfillment feeling is there or it like, it’s burning despite that despite that success, right, that you thought you had. So this is where I really encourage high achievers to just stop and think and think more about intrinsic purpose. Why why do you wanna do what you do? When you can shift to intrinsic purpose, and I’m not saying you can’t like accolades or like the external rewards as well, but I think they have to come with intrinsic purpose too.

Molly [00:05:20]:
Otherwise, you get there and you go, what what I even do this for? Intrinsic purpose, if you operate with that, you stay motivated longer. You avoid burnout and you feel more fulfilled in the long run, not just until you get the next shiny object. Right? What I found is that purpose isn’t static. It evolves and there have definitely been seasons of life where I felt disconnected from my purpose. In my corporate job, I felt very low purpose for probably two, three years because for me, it was I didn’t feel like I was contributing or making a difference in people’s lives. I felt like I was so far removed from the end goal from the customer that I just didn’t feel like I was making a difference. And for me, I have, like, a lot of Enneagram two in me. Like, helping service is really important.

Molly [00:06:13]:
That’s how I personally get really fulfilled. So that was one period of my life where I just felt like purpose was low. I think it absolutely affected my engagement and my performance and just how I wanted myself to be showing up. After having kids, probably after having two one one, two kids somewhere in there, now I have three, I felt my purpose shift a lot. And I felt like that kind of that identity crisis of like, well, who am I now and what do I really value now and what is most important to me with my work and how to show up at home. I’ve talked about that in past episodes, but I actually believe that every time you have a baby, a new version of you is born. And I think your purpose shift and it shifts and it evolves and it kinda changes, and I think you really continue to step into yourself more and more too. And maybe that’s babies, maybe that’s just age.

Molly [00:07:05]:
But I think, like, the birth of a baby absolutely kind of awakens you to that next season and what you’re really craving from that. So ask yourself, was there a time in your life where your purpose felt off for a prolonged period? And what was happening? What what were the common themes there? Because for me, the corporate job and then the kinda identity shift as a mom, it was kinda like I just didn’t know where I was going. Like, that loss of vision, that loss of what am I working for? Like, what’s important to me? Like, that, like, loss of what’s ahead. And maybe you don’t have that right now to that stuck. Right? The stuck feeling. Were you complacent in your job? Right? Were you adjusting to motherhood and maybe losing sight of yourself? Were you not taking care of yourself? Not taking care of yourself for a prolonged period of time, and sometimes this does coincide with, like, early motherhood because you’re just giving all of yourself to the baby and the family and and that type of thing. A lot of women will kinda lose themselves and lose their purpose in that season. Maybe that happened to you.

Molly [00:08:15]:
Were you just not growing? Right? When you are not evolving yourself or challenged or growing or putting yourself into new environments or new situations, that can create this like complacent stuck loss of purpose feeling. So where does it come from? Where does it come from and how can we get more of it? Like, what are the issues if I like, what are the specific issues if I don’t have it? Let’s talk through it. Purpose comes from three things. The first one is what you want to be, what you want to do, and the reasons why. So let me break this down. In terms of being, who do you wanna be? What do you wanna be? How do you wanna show up? And for me, that’s giving, generous, service oriented, passionate, and present. I go through all these things with my one on one clients. I ask them, who do you wanna be? What do you wanna do? And why is that important? It like pulls out the purpose from you.

Molly [00:09:13]:
So for me, giving, generous, service oriented, passionate, and present. What do you wanna do? Right? How do you wanna do in terms of your purpose? What do you wanna do in terms of your purpose? I wanna go the extra mile. I want to do quality work. I wanna spend quality time with others and create meaningful experiences for others. Like, that’s very much part of my purpose and why I show up. Why? So that life is lived with meaning, with focus on loved ones, and that I can encourage others to do the same. Now, obviously, your purpose your words aren’t going to be the exact same, but that’s a great journaling exercise to pull out the purpose from you. Who do you wanna be? What do you wanna do for yourself, for others, and why? And so when I put that together, my purpose is to help people live intentionally, achieve meaningful success, and cherish life’s moments with loved ones.

Molly [00:10:09]:
And what I personally do is I have this all I have that in a Google Doc, and I will pull it up before I record a podcast like this. I will pull it up before I hop on a one on one client session. I’ll pull it up before I write an email. It just really helps me stay in tune with my overall reason, that deeper rooted reason of why I’m doing this work and why I’m showing up. Because when I can do it out of purpose and out of mission, it just feels a whole lot better to me. And, you know, I think as a high performer and a high achiever, it’s really easy to get side barred into, like, go do this and go do this and go and all of a sudden you’re doing things that you’re like, this does not even align with who I am or, like, why do I care about this? And if I can just stay rooted in that purpose, it sort of just creates ease and fulfillment and flow and income too. Like, that’s that’s the cool part about this is I feel like when you operate in purpose, your income actually grows too. Like, I believe income follows purpose.

Molly [00:11:12]:
I believe income follows passion. And so this isn’t just like, oh, this just feels good and you’re gonna feel more fulfilled. No. I actually think it drives results too. So keep keep it in front of you. Right? Like, keep these purpose words in front of you. Hey there. I’ve got a few spots open in my calendar for some complimentary clarity calls, but I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to offer them.

Molly [00:11:38]:
So if it’s been on your mind, make sure you head to mollyaspline.com/application. Fill that out, and I will be in touch from there. Like I said, I’ve got a few spots currently, but I’m not sure how much longer those are gonna be available. So if it’s been on your mind or on your heart, just book a free clarity call. It’s forty five minutes. It’s very, very powerful, yet laid back call that I I know you’re gonna have breakthroughs even in that free clarity session. So very personalized, very individualized. We’ll chat about where you’re at and what could be next for you.

Molly [00:12:13]:
So don’t wait. Grab your spot. Again, it’s at molly aspline dot com slash application, and I will be in touch with you from there. How a low sense of purpose leads to complacency and low performance. I wanna talk through this too. Like, if I don’t feel purpose with my work, Molly, what what is that actually doing? And I wanna talk through these. There’s seven of them because I want you to see if you can identify yourself in five or more of these things, then your purpose is probably pretty low in your work. And maybe these maybe this is a a red flag.

Molly [00:12:50]:
Right? Maybe it is really time to increase it, reevaluate, hire a coach. I’m gonna go into some specific strategies, but a low sense of purpose is one of the biggest drivers of low performance and complacency. And if you’re a high performer, here’s what I notice. You can do it for a while where you can still get things done, have high ambition, move the needle forward, maybe even be proactive with innovation and ideas. But after a while, one year, two year, three years of having limited purpose with a job or an industry or a career, it will wear on you, and you will burn out and your performance will suffer. It’s why you’ll hear people say things like, I feel like I got complacent or I’ve lost my edge or I just sort of feel like lazy and I’m not a lazy person. Well, you may have lost your purpose for said career, for said job. You may have grown out of it.

Molly [00:13:53]:
Your values may have shifted. You may have gotten more clear on what’s important to you, and maybe that just doesn’t align anymore. So the first the first reason of why this plays out is that lack of intrinsic motivation. That definitely leads to lower engagement. Without purpose, tasks feel like chores instead of meaningful contributions. You start to feel that factor or that ick factor. I’ve heard people say that a lot. You start to grow go through the motions instead of seeking the growth.

Molly [00:14:26]:
Productivity may stay steady, but your ambition and your proactive thinking decline. Your drive to wanna innovate, your drive to wanna share new ideas at the meetings, your drive to wanna start the committee or be on the committee, it just diminishes. Number two is comfort starts to replace growth. There’s no deeper reason for you to push forward, so you settle. Right? And this is where I hear people say, like, I feel like I’ve gotten lazy. And they don’t high performers don’t like that feeling. Right? But I want you to be aware. Well, maybe you’ve lost your purpose.

Molly [00:15:04]:
You’re avoiding challenges, risks, or opportunities that could lead to real progress. Instead of in innovating, you focus on just maintaining the status quo. Increased burnout and disengagement. That’s number three. When your work feels without purpose, it can feel exhausting rather than energizing. You may feel resentment in the mornings, waking up, getting to the office, or hopping on your calls or on your meetings or your Slack or your Teams instead of energy. Right? Even high performers will start questioning, why am I doing this? Like, the this doesn’t even really matter. Right? These are things I hear from women.

Molly [00:15:45]:
Emotional exhaustion can also lead to procrastination and just low enthusiasm. Number four, decision making becomes reactive and not proactive. Without purpose, you will tend to default to short term thinking. I have totally been here. Where you will operate in just more of a day to day, keep the wheels on the bus type of mentality instead of bold moves because you have a big vision for the future and you’re excited about it and you’re willing to, I’ll say, take risks and try new things, that’s that’s a real thing. And then your decision making just comes very reactive and it can kind of feel like fighting fires and just, like, keeping like I said, keeping the wheels on the bus type of mentality. Number five, leadership stagnation and loss of influence. People can feel when a leader lacks purpose, and it absolutely affects team morale.

Molly [00:16:43]:
You can also feel when a leader has purpose. Right? You can feel when a leader is vibrant and excited and pumped up and, like, directing you on, you know, here’s where we’re going and why and here’s why we need to rally together. Like, doesn’t that feel good when you have a leader who’s like that? They can feel the opposite too. They can feel when a leader is stuck, when a leader is bored, when a leader is disengaged. When a leader stops driving forward with vision, the team follows suit. And I work with a lot of corporate leaders in my one on one coaching, and one thing that they have like, a win that few of them have shared is when they bring their personal development learnings or professional development learnings or leadership learnings into their team meetings and their team hears them teaching it or isn’t like, gets is able to get inspired by them, they love that. Your team can feel that. So if you are a leader who’s listening to this, a leader of a team of direct reports, like, give them something.

Molly [00:17:48]:
Right? They need to know you feel that purpose. Give them reason to have purpose because that transcends to your team and that is up to you. Right? Like if you want that engaged vibrant team, you’ve gotta be their engaged vibrant leader. The team will follow suit. So give them something to rally that can increase their level of purpose and engagement. Number six is resistance to change and innovation. If you don’t have clear purpose, you don’t have urgency to evolve. Right? Things go slower and the organization or the team or the project or the career, it starts to feel stale.

Molly [00:18:29]:
So the bottom line is low sense of purpose really does have a domino effect. It’s not good. But it’s not just cute to be like, I don’t really have purpose for my work. It’s just, like, not that important to me. You know, we can say that, and I I like that we’re being truthful about that, but it’s not good for you. It’s not good for the organization. It’s not good for your daily energy. Like, nothing about that is good.

Molly [00:18:55]:
So okay, Molly. How can I fix it? Right? Like, what if I don’t really care about the industry or the job itself? Can I increase my level of purpose? I think you can. I think you can to some degree. I think in some cases, a job pivot or a job change or a career pivot is is necessary, but I also think there’s a lot that you can do just to drive up fulfillment and purpose in the meantime. So you can get it back. How to increase your sense of purpose. If you’re feeling a low sense of purpose, it’s often because you’re too deep in execution mode and forgetting to look at bigger picture. So number one is just reconnect with your core values.

Molly [00:19:37]:
And I know that might sound fluffy, but truly ask yourself, what does really matter to me? What does really make you happy? What are three to five core values that make work and life meaningful to you? Is it helping people on a deeper level? Is it, you know, health care and, like, being a part of that system? Is it children and maybe being a part of the school system or tutoring or something? Like, industry can play a part in this and so can just like, I love being an individual contributor, Molly, and, like, doing deep work and getting focused and getting my projects done. Maybe that, like, is a core value to you, and that feels really good for you to, like, move the needle forward on certain projects. But just get clear on core values. If, you know, family, I think, is a core value to everyone, can your does your current work situation really allow you to live out that core value of family, or is it really inhibiting it? You know, a lot of high performers will say, my job has flexibility. You know, I’m really good at it, so I can, like, I can take off when I wanna take off. But in the same breath, they’re like, I’m on emails all day. It’s really stressful if I leave. You know, I have calls at 07:30 or my boss called me at 9PM.

Molly [00:20:53]:
Like, when you kinda break it down, it’s like, well, is that flexible? So I just want you to, like, deeper dive on your core values. If your daily actions don’t align with those core values, then that’s probably why you’re feeling disconnected. Number two, how to increase that purpose bucket is shift from achievement to fulfillment. Oh my goodness. This is huge. Shifting from achievement to fulfillment. High performers will often set goals based on external success, things like title, things like income, things like status. I talked mentioned that in the beginning.

Molly [00:21:29]:
Instead, I want you to ask, what impact do I want to have? What impact do I want to have? Because if you are a high performer and a high achiever, there’s probably been a certain situation in your life where you achieved the title or the accolade or the income level, and it was not what you thought it was gonna be. And from then on out, you probably understood that fulfillment and impact is kind of the better thing to focus on. It’s not that you can’t have those metrics and those achievements as part of your goals, but I think it really has to be a healthy mix of both. Number three, take on challenge that forces growth. This is huge. When I hear people say that they feel stuck, they feel stagnant, bored, I just know they need some challenge. They need a push. They need a mix up.

Molly [00:22:24]:
They need novelty. They need to change it up. Growth is usually the fastest way to rediscover purpose. And I lived that this year when my career did a big big old pivot and a a big old growth challenge opportunity. I feel like I got super connected to my purpose fast, partially because I had to, and partially because it it makes for a really good, like, stepping stone to go, okay. That ended. I’m starting this. That’s why I do think career change can just be so powerful for people because it gives you a chance to kinda start fresh and start anew in a more aligned way.

Molly [00:23:06]:
Whether you’re a business owner or whether it’s a corporate job change, sometimes I just think it’s so healthy to reestablish those boundaries and taking those big intentional actions in a new way. It feels really good for a lot of people. It’s exciting. Number four, this is a good segue, seek new environments and new perspectives. Who you surround yourself matters so much. Like, you go back to all our episodes and I believe it was January. I did a whole series on friendships, growth, environment because it’s just it’s such a big deal If you are trying to elevate peer group, just, like, change your way of thinking, change your thermostat so that you’re constantly not sitting at the same 70 degrees, but you can actually, like, elevate your temperature of your life to a different it do it different. Right? That’s that is, like, so key.

Molly [00:24:04]:
So joining mastermind groups, attending retreats, engaging with purpose driven people. Number five, I love this one, inject more play and curiosity. Okay. Now, this has nothing to do with job, right, but it will absolutely help you uptick that purpose level. It comes from alignment with life, not just productivity. So I’ll give you an example. Tomorrow, I’m actually traveling to Arizona. I’m doing a solo trip.

Molly [00:24:33]:
I’m going to a wellness retreat for this exact reason. Because when I am outside my environment and doing things with play and curiosity that get me excited, and I love sunshine, I love wellness, I love people who like that kind of stuff, so I’m gonna meet some new people. Sure. Sure. I’m gonna be out of my comfort zone, so that’s growth too. But when I do those things, it injects, like, ideas and inspiration and purpose in into me. It’s like getting out of the norm. Right? It’s the same reason I recommend people go to retreats and that kind of thing.

Molly [00:25:08]:
It immerses yourself into a new environment, and that immersion can create a lot of purpose, excitement, like new novel feelings that are really important. Number six is reflect on moments of past purpose, past moments of purpose. What were you doing when you felt deeply engaged and fulfilled? Or think of those days where you your head hits the pillow at night and you’re like, that was just a good day. Like, that felt really good. What were you doing? Was it when you were really present with your kids? Was it when one of my clients said, Molly, when I am speaking in front of people at work on topics that I am really passionate about, that are really relevant for me, and when I get to use my voice in a meaningful way, she’s like, I feel so much energy from doing that. And you could just tell she has, like, so much purpose with with what she was talking about. Like, that, what are those thing? Do you have certain things like that at your job or built into your life where you’re like, that felt really meaningful? One of my clients said she, like, had to go through this whole process with some of her real estate clients to help them get preapproved and help them, like, put in an offer all in, like, a few hours time span. And she’s like, I felt a lot of purpose because I was able to use my experience and my wisdom and my skills to match to their goal.

Molly [00:26:36]:
And she’s like, I just really felt like I was making a difference and I was being a helper to them and I could, like, put my good wisdom to use. I don’t know. What it what is it for you? What have been those days or those periods in life where you’re like, I felt so freaking aligned? And a lot of times when people are in, like, their first one to two years of a career or even one to three years or a job change, it just feels really good. So I I always tell them pay attention to that because they probably had a lot of novelty going on. For some, it’s when they’re around other people. It’s when they’re in, like, open social situations. It just gets kind of they feel a strong sense of purpose there. Think about it.

Molly [00:27:19]:
And the last way is to serve others. This is actually bigger than you think. To mentor someone, to volunteer, to support a cause. The reason this is important and to ask other people, you know, do you feel like you’re living in your purpose or, like, what do you feel passionate about or what’s exciting you right now or what’s a dream that’s sitting inside of you? Like, if you go to dinner and ask your girlfriends that, it will light up the conversation. And the reason this is important is because it puts you in the position of influence to support others with their purpose. And a lot of times, that kinda pulls out yours too, and it feels really good for the person on the receiving end. The last thing I’ll say to help you pull out purpose, I think hiring a coach is vastly helpful. I have done this at several points in my career, and I will continue to, but it’s kind of interesting because even with the initial, like, yes, I want to work with you, coach, and the that exchange of energy, exchange of money, I feel like even then when I have invested in a coach, it has, like, shifted me because I’m like, oh my gosh.

Molly [00:28:34]:
I’m like, I’m going to the next level. I am I’m doing something here. I’m moving forward because I have just needed that at points in my career where I feel kinda stuck, and I feel like those are the points where I just needed to stop and think, and I needed other people to, you know, help pull that out of me. I think that can be really valuable if you’re if you’re feeling low on the purpose front. It’s just take a beat, right, and invest and work on it from there. I think that can be helpful. Final thought. Purpose is not something that you stumble upon.

Molly [00:29:11]:
It’s something that you create by taking action in alignment with what excites and fulfills you. Similar to courage, it’s not just something that’s gonna fall on your lap. Right? It’s like you are the driver of this. So I just gave you seven different ideas on how to, like, increase it, right, and level up and build up that that purpose muscle. If you’re feeling disconnected, I think the key is to experiment, explore, and just engage with life differently. Get out of the hamster wheel, get out of the day to day, get out of the grind, and stop and think. Right? That’s hard for high achievers to do sometimes. Just stop and think and take a minute, and you’ll get it.

Molly [00:29:56]:
Right? You’ll get it. And it feels so good when you’re operating from that place. So I’ll ask you, which of these feels like the right step for you? I want you to think about it, and I want you to go and implement because, remember, this podcast is dream it and do it. Right? So I don’t just want you to listen. I want you to dream and do. And if you’re interested in booking a clarity call, make sure you do that. Those are almost fill almost full. So go to mollyaspline.com/application, and we will hop on a free forty five minute call, and you will get a good taste of what it’s like to work with me.

Molly [00:30:33]:
It’s a very individualized call, and a lot of people have breakthroughs in those forty five minutes. And it’s a good opportunity to see if we are a good fit to work together. So I hope you found value in this. Share it with another high performer, friend, coworker, colleague, spouse who might be feeling low on the purpose front. I hope this can help. We’ll see you next week. Take care. Could I ask a quick favor? It would mean so much to me if you took two minutes, literally two minutes, to rate and review this podcast.

Molly [00:31:07]:
Ratings and reviews are how the podcast grows, and it’s listeners like you who are here every week listening and benefiting who can really help me grow the show. It would mean a ton to me. And as a token of my appreciation, for any written review that you share, I will send you a $5 Starbucks gift card. Why? Because we all need more Starbucks in our life. A little coffee for you to enjoy on me. So all you have to do is review the podcast. So just go down and click review rate or review the podcast. Write a written review, screenshot it, and before you click submit, just screenshot it.

Molly [00:31:47]:
Email it to me at mo***@mo********.com. And from there, I will send over your $5 Starbucks gift card, and your next coffee or latte or mocha will be on me. Thank you so much. I appreciate it more than you know. Talk soon.